Kelly Kula
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Does "no" really mean "no"?

9/4/2014

5 Comments

 
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NO!

So...what you're saying is, "Not at this time?  Like, maybe sometime in the near future? Like....tomorrow?  Next week?  In a month?  Not 'no' indefinitely, right?"  

NO means NO....NO NO NO NO NO!!!!  How many more times would you like me to repeat it before it sinks in??!!!  NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!




Okay, so I haven't really had a conversation such as this, but I have certainly heard "no" enough times in my lifetime that sometimes I feel as if this dialogue has crossed my path.  I find it kind of ironic that "no" is "no" in almost every language, a universal negative if you will.  Agreed, there are occasions where "no" actually holds some validity.  Should I touch the burning red hot stove?  No.  If all my friends are jumping off a cliff to their death, should I follow.  No?  If I'm able to choose Batman over Wonder Woman, should I do it?  Heck NO!

So with that last one, I kid, but differentiating between when "no" has validity and when it's just an obstacle is sometimes difficult to do.  When people tell you "no", it can often times come from a place of insecurity, jealousy, fear, or downright pure meanness.  Even so, when they say that one little word, we often times take all the responsibility and don't even see that it's coming from an issue that isn't even ours to claim.  

When is "no" really "no"??  I honestly don't think that there is a universal answer to that, I think it can only be answered by the individual and what his/her gut instinct is saying.  All I know is that I wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't made some very crucial "no"s into Yeses.  

Case in point....I was told that I wasn't naturally athletic (and this came at a time when I had just been cured of an eating disorder and was trying to rebuild myself - RUDE!).  People were surprised that I wanted to join the basketball team because I wasn't naturally gifted.  No, Kelly, you shouldn't pursue it.  What did I do instead?  I practiced my game every waking hour that I could, even during Michigan winters when I had to pack down the snow in order to dribble.  Every year I was voted "Most Improved" and even led my basketball team to a District Championship my senior year.  Now, athleticism is engrained in everything I do, and is something I dearly cherish.  Think about it...where would I be if I listened to that person's "no"?  It makes me shudder.

There are fine lines everywhere: between cocky and confident, yes and no, good and bad, naivety and innocence.  My best words of encouragement are to go with your gut feeling, that instinct within you that somehow got suppressed and is just dying to guide you in the direction you're meant to go.  When it comes to your dreams, never let those "no"s stop you.  And don't you dare tell me no to that!!!

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Just for fun...this is from my sophomore year playing basketball.  Can you spot me?  
Ah, youth!
5 Comments
Brian
9/4/2014 07:52:52 am

It took ME a couple of seconds to spot you! and I knew all those girls then lol. Great article Kelly!

Reply
Kelly Kula
9/4/2014 10:22:37 am

Thanks Brian! I know, I even had to do a double take with myself...like, oh yeah, that WAS me! Thanks for reading, and thanks even more for interacting! :)

Reply
Frank
9/9/2014 08:24:26 am

Hi Kelly,

Nice blog and thanks for sharing a part of your past, a very inspiring story. Are you the girl in the front row, 3rd from the left with that big gorgeous smile?

Reply
Kelly Kula
9/13/2014 01:23:02 am

Oh Frank, I wish...I'm a bit more awkward than that! I'm the one in the back peeking through the two girls, my hands on their shoulders. I'm not showing any teeth in my smile.

Reply
Home Renovation Palatine link
7/1/2022 12:45:12 pm

Hello matee great blog

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